Interview session with Miss W

Hi Blog Fam. It’s Ideraoluwakosua here again, been a minute.

If you’re new here, you’re highly welcome.❤️

This is a personal blog where I talk about my life and the experiences of others you can learn from them. This is #OurSafeSpace. Please check out my previous blog posts, they’ll bless you.

Today’s blog post is about Miss W(not her real name). I posted on my WhatsApp status that people should reach out to me if they were interested in sharing their stories anonymously.

She did and it all began with asking questions to where she really opened up. I’m sure you’re curious.

PS: This is a sensitive conversation, please read with love. Let’s dig in.

May we meet you?

I’m a student, the family is quite complicated so I’ll say I’m 5 of 6. I sell ladies fashion items.

Okay, nice. When you say complicated, do you mind taking it a bit further?

My father (he’s late tho) married three wives. My mom is the last of three wives and she has 5 children in total (all girls). My mom had a son in her earlier marriage also…so 5 of 6.

Oh, wow. How was growing up for you?

Before my father’s death, it was all rosy and fine but since he died we’ve just been on our own. It’s just our mom with her two daughters, I was in jss1 when he died and my younger sister was still in primary school, my elder sisters moved out and all. There was no support from my father’s family whatsoever. My mother single-handedly sent us through secondary school on her own. I won’t say growing up was too rough but it wasn’t easy and wasn’t what I pictured as a kid.

Hmmm
So, how are things now?

I won’t say it’s the best now but at least it’s fair. I’m in university and my sister is processing hers. I’m working to support my mom so we thank God.

Thank God. So your business is also helping your finances, yea?

It’s not as much as I want to but it’s something.

Little beginnings. Looking at where you are now, are you proud of yourself?

Very much proud of myself.

That’s good…

So there’s nothing you wish you never did?

There are a lot, a ton sef.

RELATED: Getting pregnant out of wedlock https://ideraoluwakosua.wordpress.com/2022/03/11/getting-pregnant-as-a-student-and-out-of-wedlock-an-interview-with-miss-a/

Do you mind sharing some?

I wish I never met some people, I wish I never lost some people, I wish I never did somethings. If only I could turn back the hands of time I would have made amendments. Huge regrets.

Seems like there’s more.

Can you just say whatever has been bothering you? I mean some of these regrets, in detail.


I met a guy in 2019 we dated for a long time and our sexual intimacy led to me getting pregnant for him – which he denied being the father. The fear of destroying my family’s name knowing fully well the kind of background I came from, the fear made me had an abortion and it almost went out of hand. My mom got to know and I almost lost the chance of continuing school. Still, he cheated after everything and I decided to never do it again and moved on.

Your mum knew you had an abortion?

Yes.

I had taken pills and injections and then went home. The bleeding was too much and intense and she found out. I was then taken to the hospital to do a d and c to flush everything out.

What was her reaction when she found out?

She was disappointed and my family knew except for my father’s side and my elder sisters. You know the pain a mother would be feeling after putting her all, staying alone and fending for her kids expecting more but she gets this, It’s just off.

I get it.

Silence

I met someone else shortly after and the love and all he showed I’ve never felt before and we started our love journey. Our sexual intimacy once again resulted in me getting pregnant and I aborted again. This time,I was pregnant over and over and I aborted thrice for him. All our minds were that we were going to end up together. Our love story went on and on for a year and then we found out about our genotypes as AS and AS we couldn’t continue. It was a pretty hard one on us because the love was too deep. One day, I was having some issues with my belly and I went to the hospital. That was when the doctor told me I can’t have children anymore. I was having issues with my boyfriend then, the issue went on and on, we eventually broke up.

Wow…

How did you keep getting pregnant? Didn’t you protect yourself?

We hated using protection and we used contraceptives late always.

I watched an abortion documentary a few days ago and it was heartbreaking.

How was it for you? Do you regret having those abortions?


The pains were mad, like before using the pills and injections, not eating, and then waiting for it to drop. The pains were very very unbearable then the blood coming out afterward, I bleed every day for a month straight after the abortion. I felt sharp pains in every drop of blood and clot but the fear of disappointing my family made me continue abortion and it wasn’t the appropriate time for me or him.

So you were using pills to abort… Wow

Yes, pills. I regret those times. My last one were twins. I hate myself more and It always rings in my head that I might not conceive anymore.

How would it sound if my mom hears? How will I settle down? How will I see a man that is going to marry a barren? These questions always ring in my head. I hate myself.

Omoooo, did your boyfriend ever suggest you guys keep the baby and damn the consequences?

No, I did suggest but he didn’t want to. Because the twins one it was after we had an 8 months break from school. If he had allowed me to keep it I’d be with my babies now.

I’m so sorry. I really wish I could say something that could make you heal.
Do you plan on telling your mother?

No, I don’t have any plans of telling her.

Don’t you think you need to see a therapist or something?

It must be a lot.

I think I do but where do I want to see one?

I’ll get back to you about this.

I’m relieved talking to you. Because this is not an issue I talk about to anyhow person.

Thank you for sharing this with me. Have you forgiven yourself and your ex?

Myself no, my ex yes.

Can I beg you to please do?

Until I get pregnant again, that’s when I can forgive myself.

Hmmm

What would you say to someone contemplating an abortion now?

Please don’t try it, you’ll regret it. I can even take care of the person till birth.

Please note: I refrained from asking her some questions because I wasn’t with her and I don’t know who was, besides she’s currently writing exams.

Alright, guys, that’s it! Do you see why I said this blog post is sensitive?

I need your help. Please drop kind words for Miss W in the comments section. I’ll be sending it all to her. If you could recommend a therapist, please reach out to me.

Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to like and comment, follow and subscribe so you won’t miss out on a new blog post. Love youuuu,bye. ❤️

I’ll leave you with this. Kindly read out loud and insert your name. ❤️

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